Un tipo llega de noche

Un tipo llega de noche a un hotel y pide una habitaci n. El encargado le informa:

“S lo tengo una cama, en un cuarto compartido, pero nadie la quiere. Lo que pasa es que el otro hu sped ronca muy fuerte”.

“S es s lo eso, no hay problema”, acepta el viajero. Toma la llave, sus maletas y sube a la habitaci n.

A la ma ana siguiente, el hombre baja de lo m s contento y descansado. Intrigado, el encargado le saluda:

“Buenos d as. Durmi bien?”

“Perfectamente, gracias”.

” Y el se or de los ronquidos?”

” l no peg un ojo en toda la noche. Apenas ahora debe estar qued ndose dormido”.

” C mo dice?”

“Ver usted: anoche lo primero que hice al entrar en la habitaci n fue plantarle tremendo besote en la boca. Despu s de eso l se pas toda la noche con los ojos abiertos como platos y el trasero pegado a la pared”.

Allergic

A blonde and her boyfriend decide to go to the movies.

During the previews, she asks her boyfriend to get her some M&Ms.

“Okay sure. I’ll be right back.”

When he gets her the candy, she immediatly opens the bag and picks out all the brown ones. Then she throws them away.

“Why did you do that?” asked the boyfriend.

She replies “Because I’m allergic to chocolate.”

Estaba Pepito en plena Revoluci n

Estaba Pepito en plena Revoluci n al lado de Carranza y Zapata. En ese tiempo ya no hab a que comer y pues ya era justo ingerir algo.

Entonces, a Carranza se le ocurre una idea:

“Viendo la situaci n y como ya no que comer, pues nos tendremos que comer a los humanos; para empezar, yo como soy Carranza, me toca la panza”.

“Y yo como soy Zapata, me como la pata”.

“Pues yo como soy Pepito… Ya no tengo hambre!”

Golfers

A golfer asked his buddy, “Who is that I saw you playing golf with yesterday”?

“That is my new girlfriend, and she has been beating me in golf. It’s worth it though, because she gives me the best blowjobs I’ve ever had!”

“I’ve got bad news for you, that is not a girl that is a man.”

“Oh no, that rotten, no good S.O.B. has been using the ladies tees!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

COLLEGE SEX SURVEY

A professor, teaching a college sexuality class, was discussing the frequency
of sex that could still be considered normal. “Many people find that sex every
other week is sufficient frequency to satisfy, and that’s fine. Yet others want
to make love nightly, and there’s nothing wrong with that either. Let’s take an
informal survey of this class. Don’t be embarrassed. Please answer honestly. How
many people here make love more than twice a week?”
A few hands shot up.
“Twice a week?”
A few more hands.
“Weekly, on average?”
Many hands.
“Once every two weeks?” he continued and, “Once a month?” and “Once every
several months?” and finally, “Once a year?”
At this last category, one hand shot up, waving most eagerly. “Pardon my
curiosity,” the professor asked, “But if you only make love once a year, why are
you so excited over it?”
Replied the student, “Tonight’s the night!”