Author Archives: Admin

Jesus and Paul

Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer
from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and
sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he
calls to one of his apostle’s. “Paul… Paul,” He calls out.

Paul hears his name and comes to the front of the
gathering. “Yes Jesus,how may I serve you” he exclaims. Just
then a guard comes up to Paul, cuts Paul’s right arm off with
his sword, and throws him back into the crowd, saying “No
one is allowed to speak with the prisoner!”

Jesus once again calls his name. “Paul . . .Paul”, he calls.
Paul, determined goes to the front of the gathering again. There
he meets the same gaurd who this time cuts off the left arm, and
both legs and throws him back into the crowd.

Jesus yells out once again , “Paul,…Paul”. Paul , who is now
lying on his back on the ground attempts to roll to the front of
the gathering. The guard seeing this determination and devotion
finally weakens and decides to let Paul speak to Jesus. He
goes over to Paul, picks him up and brings him to the front of
the crowd.

Paul, with tears in his eyes looks up to his savior and speaks,
“Yes Jesus, I am here. What is it I can do for you?”

Jesus looks over the horizon and then to Paul and states, “Oh
nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I could see your house
from here!”

Pockets of persistent poverty in our society

“We’ve got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to
declare defeat I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of
the things that we’re trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to
spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great
compassionate spirit.” George W. Bush, O’Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002

Scratch Golfer

Two women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time.

After introductions, the first golfer asked, “What’s your handicap?”

“Oh, I’m a scratch golfer,” the other replied.

“Really!” exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her.

“Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!

Tax’s For The Dead

A Brooklyn lawyer, a used car salesman and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend. In his grief, one of the three said, “In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they ll have something to pay tax’s over there.”They all agreed that this was appropriate. The banker dropped a hundred dollar bill into the casket and walked away in tears.The car salesman did the same. The lawyer looked around and seeing no one was near the coffin, he took out the bills and wrote a check for $300.

Alligator shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, she shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Slip of the tongue

A guy with a black eye walks into a bar and sits down. He looks over at the guy next to him who also has a black eye and they both laugh. One guy says, I got mine with a slip of the tongue. I went to the train station ticket window to get a ticket and their was this beautiful, large breasted woman sitting there. I said I would like a pickett too tittsburg and she punched me in the eye.

The other guy said, I got mine with a slip of the tongue too. At breakfast instead of asking my wife to pass the cheerios I said you ruined my life you fat bitch!

very werid funny joke

There are three men one guy has a orange

the other has a bottle of water and

the other a car door.they are walking though the hot desert.So the guy with the

orange ate it the one with the water drank

it the guy with the car door said i’m going to roll down the window