This man walks into a gun shop and asks to buy a gun. The gun
shop owner asks, “What for?” He says, “To shoot some cans.” So
he walks away with the gun.
He comes back the next day and asks for a bigger gun claiming he
still has more cans to shoot. He walks away with the bigger gun.
Again he comes back the next day demanding a bigger gun. Now the
gun shop owner is curious and asks, “What cans are you shooting
sir?” He replies, “AmeriCANS, JaimaCANS, AfriCANS…”
So three guys were in the jungle and were captured by a wild
When they get to the camp, the chief says,”We will let u live,
if u can do a task. if u fail, we will kill u. The first thing u
need to do is get 10 of a kind of fruit. any fruit. then come c
so the first guy comes back with 10 apples, and the chief
says,”now shove them all up ur ass without making a sound.” so
the guy gets to the 3rd apple and he grunts. so they kill him,
and he floats up to heavon.
now the 2nd guy comes back with 10 grapes and the chief says the
same thing. so the guy gets in 9 grapes. Then he suddenly bursts
out laughing. so they kill him too and he goes up to heavon.
when he gets up there the first guy asked,”y’d u start laughing,
u almost made it.” and the second guy says,”I would have. but i
laughed when i saw the other guy coming back with pineapples.”
A missionary is sent into deepest darkest depths of Africa to
live with a tribe. He spends years with the people, teaching
them to read, write and good Christian values. One thing he
particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin. “Thou must not
commit adultery or fornication!”
One day the wife of one of the Tribe’s noblemen gives birth to a
white baby. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his
people to talk with the missionary.
“You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black
woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man
who has ever set foot in our village. Anyone can see what’s
going on here!”
The missionary replies, “No, no, my good man. You are mistaken.
What you have here is a natural occurrence – what is called an
albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep,
and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on
The chief pauses for a moment then says, “Tell you what, you
don’t say anything about the sheep, I won’t say anything about
the white baby.”
Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very
hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a
huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later,
one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The
other missionary can’t believe it! He says, “What’s wrong with
you? We’re being boiled alive! They’re gonna eat us! What could
possibly be funny at a time like this?”
The other missionary says, “I just peed in the soup.”
One day a Chinese, Japanese, and a Black man all went to hell.
The devil told them that if he could hold their dick for 3
seconds that they could go to heaven, if not they would be thrown
in the fiery pit. So the Chinese guy walks up the devil says 1
and it goes up in flames. So the devil throwes him in the fiery
pit. Next the Japanese guy walks up the devil goes 1…2 poof
it goes up in flames. So the devil throwes him in the fiery pit.
Then the black guy goes up. The devil counts 1..2..3 nothing
happens. the devil goes “let me count again” 1..2..3. the devil
goes why didn’t it go up in flames. The black guy says choclate
melts in your mouth not in your hand
Q: What do you call a jamaican Proctologist?