There was once a blonde who was sick and tired of blonde jokes so she died her hair red. she was driving around Derby when she stopped to talk to a shepard. she said “If I can guess how many sheep you have then can I have one?” She thought for a while then said “382”. the shepard said “wow thats correct, you can have any one that you want”. She picked one and put it in her car but before she got into her car the shepard said “If I can guess the real colour of your hair then can I have my dog back?”
One summer day, a blonde told her husband before he left for work that she was going to paint the house that day. It was her day off and she wanted to do something useful. He went to work only to return for lunch five hours later.He expected to find some progress done on the house, but instead found his wife lying in their yard with a few jackets on, despite the hot day. “What are you doing?” he asked. “I prepared to paint the house, but when I read the instructions on the paint can, it said to apply three coats and sun dry.”
How do you drowned a blonde?
– stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her driving test?
A: Because she was not used to being in the front seat.
Two blondes walked into a bar, ya think one of them would have seen it!
Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The 1984 Hide and Seek World Champion.
Q. Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A. Because she thought it was diet coke.
A blonde was staring dumfounded at a rushing river blocking her path. As she wondered how to cross, she saw another blonde on the other side.
She yelled “Hey, can you help me get to the other side?”
The other blonde replied “You ARE on the other side!!!!”
this blonde and her husband were sittin at home watchin tv and the mailman knocks on the door and says “mailman”.the blonde tells her husband and he said “fuck the maillman!!”.he went upstairs and he came bac downstairs and he found her and the mailman on the couch havin sex.hahahahaha
Why did the blonde freeze to death at the drive-in?
She went to see “Closed for the season.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman