Category Archives: blondes

Appliance Store

A blonde walks in to an appliance store and says to the sales man Hi i would like to buy that Tv!
He Replies I’m sorry but i don’t sell to blondes!

So she goes out and dyes her hair brown and then goes back to the store and says to the sales man Hi i would like to buy that Tv Please,

He says to her I’m sorry but i dont sell to blondes,

She looks at him and asks “how did you know that i was blonde?

He says because thats a microwave!

Confuse a blonde

how do you confuse a blonde?

put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in a corner.

how does a blonde confuse you?

she shows you the corner she peed in

Legs

What does the left leg of a nymphomaniac say to her right leg?

Nothing, they have never met.

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor….

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked
her what had
happened to her ears and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the
phone
rang – but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the
iron
and stuck it to my ear.”
“Oh Dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But what happened
to your
other ear?”
“The son of a bitch called back!”

Attackin’ Trees

There was a police officer sitting on the side of the road, just
watching the cars go by when he sees this car. Its is swirving
left to right left to right non-stop, cutting cars off every
where. So the police man decides to follow it. After some time of
the car still doing it he decides its getting out of hand and
pulls the car over. He gets out of his car and walks up to the
car asking if the woman had a problem. She replies, ” Oh yes
Officer. I am so glad you are here. I keep swirving left and
right because I keep almost
hitting trees where ever I go, so I move but they are over
there, they are EVERY WHERE!.” The Police officer looks at her
and replies…”Ma’am, isn’t that you air-freshener?”

The tourists

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing”

Sheep

There was once a blonde who was sick and tired of blonde jokes so she died her hair red. she was driving around Derby when she stopped to talk to a shepard. she said “If I can guess how many sheep you have then can I have one?” She thought for a while then said “382”. the shepard said “wow thats correct, you can have any one that you want”. She picked one and put it in her car but before she got into her car the shepard said “If I can guess the real colour of your hair then can I have my dog back?”

House Painting

One summer day, a blonde told her husband before he left for work that she was going to paint the house that day. It was her day off and she wanted to do something useful. He went to work only to return for lunch five hours later.He expected to find some progress done on the house, but instead found his wife lying in their yard with a few jackets on, despite the hot day. “What are you doing?” he asked. “I prepared to paint the house, but when I read the instructions on the paint can, it said to apply three coats and sun dry.”