Category Archives: blondes

It Hurts!

The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a
Complaint of pains all over her body.

“Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the
places that hurt.

The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her
finger to her hip and said, “Ouch!” and then to her rib cage and said, “Ouch!”

The doctor stopped her and asked, “Were you a blonde before your hair grayed”?

“Why yes!” she said excitedly, “But how did you know?”

The Doc answered, “Your fingers broken.”

Can I buy that T.V.?

a blonde walks into a store. she sees a tv on sale. she asks the guy who works there…” can i buy that T.V.?” he said “no” “Why not?” “because you are a Blonde” so she walks out. The next day she came into the store with brown hair. “can i but that T.V.” “no” he said again ” Why not?” “your a blonde!” he said so she walks out. The next day she comes in as a black guy. “Can i buy that T.V.?

Helping a blond lose weight

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.”I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor. “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.

Blonde and Officer

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window.
The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.

“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’me…. could I see your drivers license…?”

“…What’s a license…???” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

“It’s usually in your wallet…” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. “Now may I see your registration…” asked the cop.

“Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde. “It’s usually in your glove compartment…” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. “I’ll be back in a minute…” said the cop and walked back to his car.

The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back;

“Ummm…. is this woman driving a red sports car?” “Yes….” replied the officer “Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher “Uh… yes” replied the cop.

“Here’s what you do….” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants…”

“WHAT!!? I can’t do that. Its….. inappropriate…” exclaimed the cop.

“Trust me….. just do it….” said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs….. “Ohh no… not ANOTHER breathalyzer……”

A Blonde Learning to Fly

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in.

“I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.”

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away.

He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said: “I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can’t remember anything after I turned off the big fan.”

I followed the tracks

Three guys went on a hunting weekend. The first day they all headed out their separate ways, but only the black haired guy had any luck.

Back at the cabin, his 2 buddies asked him how he got the deer. He said, “It was easy. I saw the tracks. I followed the tracks. I saw the deer. I shot the deer.”

The next day, they all headed out again. This time the red-head came back with a deer.

Back at the cabin, the other 2 asked him how he got the deer, to which he replied, “Well, it was just like we were told. I saw the tracks. I followed the tracks. I saw the deer. I shot the deer.”

The third day they headed out again. At the end of the day they all headed back to the cabin, but when the blond guy arrived he was all beaten and bloodied.

“What happened to YOU?” his buddies asked.

“Well,” he said, “I tried to do what you said. I saw the tracks. I followed the tracks. Train hit me!”

Blonde driving

A blonde was driving down the highway and was involved in a
wreck. When the police officer went to ask what happened she
said. All of a sudden a tree appeared in front of me and I kept
swerving and swerving to avoid it but it was still there then I
wrecked. The police officer said ma’am that is your air freshener.