Thousands of people flock to the annual Burning Man festival in The Black Rock
Desert north of Reno, Nevada.
At this big hippie festival, people run around naked, drink and do drugs, or
as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for President.
“We’ve got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to
declare defeat I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of
the things that we’re trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to
spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great
compassionate spirit.” George W. Bush, O’Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002
G.W.Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid.
So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says,
“Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people.
Let me show you.” She calls Tony Blair in and asks, “Tony, your parents had a
It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” Tony Blair
replies, “It’s me!”
So G.W. calls Dick Cheney and says, “Dick, your parents had a baby.
It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” And Cheney says,
“Wow, that’s a tough one. Let me get back to you.”
So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, “Colin, your parents had a baby.
It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” And Colin Powell
“It’s me!” So Cheney calls Bush and says, “It’s Colin Powell.”
And Bush says, “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”
Cheney gets a call from his “boss”, W.
“I’ve got a problem,” says W.
“What’s the matter?” asks Cheney.
“Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office, so, I got a jigsaw puzzle,
but it’s too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can’t find any edges.”
“What’s it a picture of?” asks Cheney.
“A big rooster,” replies W.
“All right,” sighs Cheney, “I’ll come over and have a look.”
So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. W points at the
jigsaw on his desk.
“If a person doesn’t have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I
suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.” George W. Bush, May 22,
One night, George W. Bush was awakened by the ghost of George Washington.
Bush asked, “George, now that I have been elected President, what is the best
thing I can do for the country?”
“Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised Washington.
The next night, Bush was awakened by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.
“Tom, now that I am elected President, what is the best thing I can do for the
country?” asked Bush.
“Cut taxes and reduce the size of government,” Jefferson advised.
The next night, Bush saw another figure moving in the shadows. This time it
was the ghost of Abraham Lincoln.
“Abe, now that I have been elected President, what is the best thing I can do
for the country?” asked Bush.
“Go to the theatre!” Abe replied.
A researcher called G. W. Bush house in Austin.
G. W was sleeping in late and was awaken by the call.
He was half-asleep when he answered the phone.
Researcher: Excuse me, sir. I’m conducting a survey
GW Bush: Questions? No political questions.
Reseacher: Political, sir?
GW Bush: Do you know who you are calling?
Researcher: We call numbers at random, sir. May I ask —
GW Bush: What is this about?
Researcher: We are asking people do they think COKE beats PEPSI.
GW BUSH: I’ve never tried Pepsi. Is that a new thing?
“I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of
Hanukkah.” George W. Bush, at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony,
Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001
One day a cop was f****** his girlfriend in a car, bush was jogging there and
sow the cop f******…bush ask. hay…what r u dooing.cop said i m f****** my
girl friend.ok i m next replied bush….
the cop jumped and said oh great i never f***** a president before.
“Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be
open.” George W. Bush, at the swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Agriculture
Ann Veneman, March 2, 2001