On a train there was a Canadian, an American, a beautiful
woman, and a very ugly woman. As they went under a tunnel, the
American was smacked in the face. The ugly woman thought to
herself, ‘That American must have touched that beautiful woman,
and she smacked him…’ The beautiful woman thought to herself,
‘Obviously the American touched the ugly woman thinking it was
me, and she hit him…’ The Canadian thought, ‘I can’t wait to
go through another tunnel, so I can smack this stupid American
– you’re not offended by the term “homo milk”
– you understand the phrase “Could you pass me a serviette, I
just spilled my putine.”
– you eat chocolate bars not candy bars.
– you drink POP not SODA
– you know that a mickey and 2-4’s mean “part at the camp!!”
– you don’t care about the fuss with Cuba, its a cheap place to
travel with good cigars.
– Pike is a type if fish, not part of a highway.
– You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
– you have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
– you know that Casey and Finnigan are not part of a Celtic
– you are excited whenever an American television show metions
– you know what a touque is.
– you design your halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
– you live in a house with no front step but yet the door is one
meter from the ground.
– your local paper covers the national news on 2 pages but
requires 6 pages for hockey.
– your know four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter
– you understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
– you perk up when you hear the theme from Hockey Night in
– you are in grade 12 not 12th grade.
– “EH” is a very important part of your vocabulary.
– you actually get these jokes and want to send them to your
they were three brothers who had three wishes to make. they had
to go to the top of a mountain to make their wish. the first one
wished to be a butterfly and he became a butterfly and flew
away.the second one wished to be an eagle, he became an eagle
and flew away. third third one was trying to get to the mountain
and he tripped over a stone and said sheet and then
sheet(poo)filled the ground and he fell in sheet and was all
Why does CANADA have so many nude beaches?
The answer lies within the country…take off the first C and
first A then take off the last A…there’s your answer.
A guy from Quebec and a guy from Toronto are walking down the
beach. They come across a magic lamp, out comes a genie and
says, “I will grant each of you one wish.” So the guy from
Quebec says, “I wish for a wall 500 feet high around Quebec so
nobody can bug us again.”
The guy from Toronto says, “Fill it with water.”
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under
His Canadien friend stops him and asks, “Hey Bob! Whacha get
the case of beer for?”
“I got it for my wife, eh.” answers Bob.
“Oh!” exclaims Doug, “Good trade.”