Category Archives: current events

Making Pork

Saddam Hussein and his chauffeur were rolling down the highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road. They killed it instantly.

Saddam tells his driver: “Go to da farm over dere and hexplain to da honer of da pig what appened.”

One hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other.

“What appen to you?” he asks.

“Well, the farmer gave me a bottle of wine, his wife, the cigar and their 19 year old daughter made wild passionate love to me.”

“My God! What did you tell dem?” asked President Hussein.

The driver answered: “Good evening, I am Saddam Hussein’s chauffeur and I have just killed the pig.”

OJ’s Kid

A mama duck, baby duck, mama skunk, and baby skunk were all
crossing the road when the 2 mama animals got ran over. The baby
duck asked the baby skunk, “What am I? What am I?” “Well you got
a beek and feathers you must be a duck.”

“What am I?” asked the skunk. “Well you’re black and white and
your mama was just killed. You must be one of OJ’s kids.”

Simple Solution

As for what to do with Osama bin Laden:

Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will
inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release.

Therefore, I suggest we do neither.

Let the special forces, Seals, or whatever covertly capture him,
fly him to an undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly
perform a complete sex change operation. Then we return HER to
Afghanistan.

Osama QA

Q: What do Afghanistan and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: What do Osama Bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where all those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What is the best job in Afghanistan?
A: Foreign Ambassador.

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb in Afghanistan?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting.

Q: “How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”
A: “We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time.”

Q: How is Osama Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Did you hear that Osama Bin Laden won the toss?
A: He elected to receive.

Q: Why do all Afghani soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: They need a map.