These are some of the things I think about when I’m home alone
and the TV is broken.
* Why is an orange the only fruit named after its color? Or was
the color named after the fruit?
* Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
* Do they have reserved parking for regular people at the
* Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
* Is a computer virus covered by Medicare?
* How do you know when a Smurf suffocates?
* If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the
* In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the
* Where do swear words come from?
* Why do people use the word “irregardless”?
* Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
* Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
* How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water?
* Why do they have signs at Burger King that say, “Picture menus
available for those who need them”? If you can’t read, how can
you ask for a picture menu?
* If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause?
* Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
* Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?
* Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
* Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?
* Why is it called “after dark”, when it is really after light?
* Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become
* If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUp?
* Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
* Why do they report power outages on TV? I mean, duh!
* If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before
approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth
* If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a
hard-sleeper sleep with?
* Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a
* Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
* Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?