Category Archives: gross

There was a girl who needed to borrow her…

There was a girl who needed to borrow her
dad’s car. So she went to her dad and she
asked, “Dad, I need to borrow your car.”

So her dad thinks about it and he says, “Well
you have to suck my dick first.”

So the girl
agrees and starts to suck his dick. “Dad”,
she says, “your dick tastes like shit!”

he said, “Your brother needed to borrow the
car too.”

It’s World War II and everyone is dug in to…

It’s World War II and everyone is dug in to a foxhole. The private goes up
to his Sargeant and tells him he has to take a shit really bad. The Sarge
tells him that they will be here for a long time and not to do it because
of the smell.

The private asks what should he do, and the Sarge says go to that foxhole
over there and we will all cover you.

The private dives in just as bullets wiz over
his head. Two days later the sarge wonders where the private has gone. All
of a sudden he appears with a smile on his face. He tells the sargeant of
his adventures in the other foxhole. “I met the most incredible girl in the
other foxhole. We had sex in Every position know to man …missionary…
doggie style…etc.”

The sargent asked “Did she give you head?”.

And the private said, “Head…. no she didn’t have a head.”

It’s April first and a guy is sitting in the…

It’s April first and a guy is sitting in the hospital
waiting for his wife to have their child. The nurse comes
out and tells the man there have been some complications
and it will take longer than expected.

Five hours later
the nurse comes out holding his baby. He gets up and exclaims
“Can I hold my child?” When he is just reaching for the baby
the nurse grabs the kid by the leg and starts swinging him
around the room; smashing his bloodied body on the floor.
She then rips off his arm and procedes to beat the childs
face into a twisted bloody pulp. Then she slams the baby
in the door until his body is almost cut in half.

The man runs over and shouts, “What the fuck are you doing to my baby!”

The nurse simply says,”April fools it was already dead.”