Category Archives: little johnny

Toooooo Cute!

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.”

“How did you know that?” his mother asked.

“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied.
“I think it’s printed on the bottom!”

Kids answers

(As answered by elementary school students)

How Do You Decide Who To Marry?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kirsten, age 10

What is the Right Age To Get Married?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
– Freddie, age 6

How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8

What Do Your Think Your Mom and Dad Have In Common?

Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

What Do Most People Do On A Date?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10

What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
– Craig, age 9

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?

When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them & have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8

Is It Better To Be Single or Married?

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9

How Would The World Be Different If People Didn’t Get Married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

How Would You Make a Marriage Work?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

– Ricky, age 10

Top 10 Things Hanson will do when they grow up

#10. Sit on corners and take money people give them to shut them up

#9. Be the next in line to have Michael Jackson’s baby

#8. “Would you like fries with that?”

#7. “Striptease II”

#6. G.L.O.W. (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling)

#5. “Attention K-Mart shoppers, buy a box of kitty litter, and get a hanson CD free!”

#4. Host of MTV’s show “One Hit Wonders”

#3. Plugging the roly-kit, and acne staton on the “Home Shopping Network”

#2. Drinking, a lot of drinking

#1. Settle down, and just try to be good housewives

Boom!

One day 3 guys are in an airplane, An American, a Spaniard, and an Egyptian. Suddenly the plane gets to heavy while its over Egypt.
So the Egyptian throws a model of the Pyramids overboard. When he gets down he finds the boy crying.

Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
Im crying cause a pyramid fell on my head.

The plane gets back in the air and it is still too heavy. So the Spaniard throws a toy bull off the plane. He gets down and finds a boy crying.

Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
Im crying cause a toy bull fell on my head.

The plane goes back into the air and its still too heavy. The American then throws a pipe bomb out the overboard. He gets down and finds the boy laughing his guts out.

Why the hell are you laughing so hard?
Im laughing cuz when I farted the building behind me went boooooooooom!

Everyone Is Busy

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?
Youngster: (whispering) No, he’s busy.

Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?
Youngster: (in a whisper) She’s busy too.

Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him?
Youngster: (whispering) No. They’re both busy too.

Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???
Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here…but they are busy too….

Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!!
Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.

Johnny is Drinking Again

An eight-year-old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the barmaid, “Give me a double Scotch on the rocks.”

“What do you want to do, get me in trouble?” the barmaid asked.

“Maybe later,” the kid said. “Right now, I just want the Scotch.”

A new car.

One day a mother and father were having sex and their son walked in. “What are you doing, the kid asked”.

Well, you wanted a brother, so we’re making you one.

The next day, the father walks outside and sees his son porking away on the family junker’s tailpipe.

“Son…what the hell are you doing!!!”

And the son replied – “Mom said she wanted an new car, so I’m making her one!”