Category Archives: little johnny

Making faces

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

Little leprechaun

A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said “yes.”

When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.

When he got back to class his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”

The boy said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared and run away.”

The teacher asked him to open his hand, he refused, saying, “He will get scared and run away.”

Then his teacher yelled, “Open your hand!”

So, he opens his hand and said, “Look, you scared the crap out of him!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Bad boy

One day there was a boy at school and his teacher told him to get 4 spelling words.

1st he went to his Brother and asked “Could you give me a spelling word?” His Brother answered “ShutUp” So he wrote down Shutup.

2nd he went to his Mother and asked her. She answered “Certainly” He wrote down certinly.

3rd he wen to his Dad and asked for somthing sweet. His dad answered Lolipop so he wrote down Lolipop.

4th he went to his little brother and asked the question. He answered “In my Little Blue Car”

The next day he went to school and his teacher asked for the words. He said his 1st word Shutup. Then she asked “Do you want to go to the principles office?” He said is second word “Certainly”. In the principals office the principal asked what do you think you deserve, the boy answered “Lolipop!!” Then the principal asked “What do you think your punishment should be?” The boy answered “To go in my Little Blue Car!!!!”

Toooooo Cute!

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.”

“How did you know that?” his mother asked.

“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied.
“I think it’s printed on the bottom!”

Kids answers

(As answered by elementary school students)

How Do You Decide Who To Marry?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kirsten, age 10

What is the Right Age To Get Married?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
– Freddie, age 6

How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8

What Do Your Think Your Mom and Dad Have In Common?

Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

What Do Most People Do On A Date?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10

What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
– Craig, age 9

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?

When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them & have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8

Is It Better To Be Single or Married?

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9

How Would The World Be Different If People Didn’t Get Married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

How Would You Make a Marriage Work?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

– Ricky, age 10

Top 10 Things Hanson will do when they grow up

#10. Sit on corners and take money people give them to shut them up

#9. Be the next in line to have Michael Jackson’s baby

#8. “Would you like fries with that?”

#7. “Striptease II”

#6. G.L.O.W. (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling)

#5. “Attention K-Mart shoppers, buy a box of kitty litter, and get a hanson CD free!”

#4. Host of MTV’s show “One Hit Wonders”

#3. Plugging the roly-kit, and acne staton on the “Home Shopping Network”

#2. Drinking, a lot of drinking

#1. Settle down, and just try to be good housewives

Boom!

One day 3 guys are in an airplane, An American, a Spaniard, and an Egyptian. Suddenly the plane gets to heavy while its over Egypt.
So the Egyptian throws a model of the Pyramids overboard. When he gets down he finds the boy crying.

Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
Im crying cause a pyramid fell on my head.

The plane gets back in the air and it is still too heavy. So the Spaniard throws a toy bull off the plane. He gets down and finds a boy crying.

Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
Im crying cause a toy bull fell on my head.

The plane goes back into the air and its still too heavy. The American then throws a pipe bomb out the overboard. He gets down and finds the boy laughing his guts out.

Why the hell are you laughing so hard?
Im laughing cuz when I farted the building behind me went boooooooooom!

Everyone Is Busy

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?
Youngster: (whispering) No, he’s busy.

Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?
Youngster: (in a whisper) She’s busy too.

Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him?
Youngster: (whispering) No. They’re both busy too.

Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???
Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here…but they are busy too….

Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!!
Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.