Category Archives: middle eastern

Afghani TV

THIS WEEK ON AFGHANI PRIME-TIME TV

Sunday
7 PM – I Dream of Fatima
8 PM – The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
9 PM – Husseinfeld
10 PM – Mad About Everything

Monday
7 PM – Wheel of Terror
8 PM – Suddenly, Sanctions
9 PM – Allah McBeal
10 PM – Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers

Tuesday
7 PM – The Price is Right if Osama Says Its Right
8 PM – Buffy, the Capitalist Camel Slayer
9 PM – Two Guys, a Girl and a Pita Bread
10 PM – U.S. Military Secrets Revealed

Wednesday
7 PM – Talibantubbies
8 PM – Children are Forbidden to Say the Darndest Things
9 PM – When Northern Alliance Attack
10 PM – Twin Sheiks

Thursday
7 PM – M*U*S*T*A*S*H
8 PM – Little Cave on the Desert
9 PM – Veilwatch
10 PM – Just Shoot Everyone

Friday
7 PM – Kaptain Kabul
8 PM – Jawid Loves Chachi
9 PM – Hanging with Mr. Hijacker
10 PM – Burqua’s Law

Saturday
7 PM – Jihad Joe
8 PM – Everybody Loves Osama
9 PM – This Old Tent
10 PM – No Witness News

Spitting in the Shoes

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One
sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just
before take-off a fat, little Jewish guy got on and took the
aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled
his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat
said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.” (Shuttle flights do
not have cabin attendants, but you probably knew that.) “No
problem,” said the Jew. “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone
the Arab picked up the Jew’s shoe and spit in it.

The Jew brought back the coke, when the other Arab said, “That
looks good. Think I’ll have one too.” Again, the Jew obligingly
goes to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab picks up the
other shoe and spits in it.

The Jew returns with the coke, and they all sit back and enjoy
the short flight. When the plane was landing the Jew slipped his
feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. “How
long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our
peoples …this hatred…your spitting in my shoes and me
pissing in your Coke?”

The wish

An Egyptian and an Israeli are walking together in hte desert.
Suddenly, one of them finds a bottle full of coke. As rhe bottle
is opened,a ginie flies out and says” each of you has one wish,
choose carefully and i will grant it.” The Israeli says “I want
a huge wall around Israel, this wall should prevent anyone from
coming in or going out. The gine replied, your wish has been
granted, go home naad see for yourself. When the Ginie asked the
Egyptian, he said” can anyone get through that wall?”,”no,of
course not” “an anyone get out?’
of course not, “fine then fill it with water”.

‘Twas the night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas in Old Kandihar,
And Osama Bin Laden felt far below par
For he’d been on the run since the day when the Yanks
Had first littered the landscape with the planes and the
tanks
That Osama’s buddies, those fierce Taliban kind,
Were supposed to be using to protect his behind.
So he put on his turban and took to his bed,
While visions of cruise missiles danced in his head.

Then up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
He sprang to his feet to see what was the matter,
And what to his wondering eyes did appear
But two squads of marines, in full battle gear.
And Taliban bodies flew left and flew right.
As they yelled ‘Semper Fi!’ and ‘oo-rahed’ in delight
And as two marines burst into the room,
He peed himself, because he knew they spelled doom.

“Death to the Infidel!” Osama cried,
“You’ve got it, buddy,” the grunts both replied
And bullets arrived in torrents and showers,
That left less of him than he’d left of the towers.
“oh, shit,” was his last thought as his spleen it was diced.
At least my soul’s headed straight to paradise,
But the heavenly streets made his soul’s face turn green
‘Cause the whole place was guarded by US Marines!

Indian’s Hair Cut

One day a Florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to
pay the Barber and the barber replies: ‘I am Sorry, I cannot
accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service’. The
Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a
dozen roses waiting at his door. A Cop goes for a haircut and he
also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: ‘I am Sorry,
I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service’.
The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a
dozen Donuts waiting at his door. An Indian goes for a haircut
and he also goes to pay the Barber and barber replies; ‘I’m
Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community
Service’. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, Guess what he finds there – A dozen Indians waiting for a
free haircut……