Category Archives: politicians

Osama bin Laden and George Bush

One day Osama bin Laden and George Bush were at the dump,
dumping their trash when they saw each other. Then, George Bush
found a funny looking bottle and decided to open it. When he
opens it, a little genie pops out and says, “You each get one
wish, Osama bin Laden goes first. What is your your wish Osama?”
“Well,” Osama said, “I want a great wall around my country,
Afganistan, and I want it to be 500 feet tall and 500 feet wide,
and absolutely nothing can go through it, so that all of my
Muslims there cannot escape. That is all. Can you do that?”
“Your wish is granted Osama,” said the genie, “Now for your wish
George. What will it be?”
“Fill it with water.”

Miscommunication

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi
border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead
body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road. A short
distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American
soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who was still
barely alive. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head
and asked him what had happened.

“Well,” he whispered, “I was walking down this road, armed to
the teeth. I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard.
I looked him right in the eye and shouted, ‘Saddam Hussein is an
unprincipled, lying piece of trash!’ He looked me right in the
eye and shouted back, ‘Bill Clinton is an unprincipled, lying
piece of trash too!’ We were standing there shaking hands when
the truck hit us.”

The Three Midgets

Three midgets who really want to be in the Guiness Book of World
Records decide that they can come up with “something” that would
qualify them for submission into the book. They call up the
judging panel and arrange an appointment.

The first midget walks into the judging room and tells the
panel, “I believe I have the smallest hands in the world!” The
judges examine him and confer. Upon making their decision, the
midget exits the room. As he enters the waiting area, he tells
his friends, “I made it! I have the smallest hands in the WORLD!”

The second midget walks into the judging room and tells the
panel, “I have the smallest feet in the world!” The judges
examine his feet and confer. Upon making their decision, the
midget exits the room. As he enters the waiting room, he tells
his friends, “I made it! I have the smallest feet in the WORLD!”

The third midget walks into the judging room and tells the
panel, “Well, I don’t have the smallest hands or feet in the
world, but I think I do have something that might qualify!” With
that he whips out his tiny dick and shows the judges. They
chuckle, but examine him and confer. Upon making their decision,
the midget exits the room. As he enters the waiting area, he
shakes his head back and forth, hanging his head low. “Did you
get in the book?” asks the first midget. “No,” the third midget
says sadly, “but I sure would like to know who that Bill Clinton
fucker is.”

Anagram of President Clinton of the USA

An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by
transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or
phrase.

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each
letter only once into: TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

President Bush and Taliban Leader

Bush went to Afganistan to discuss peace agreements. While he
was in the Room The Taliban leader presses a button and a Fist
comes out and puches him. He begans to laugh and Bush is
annoyed. Then as the began talking he presses another button and
a fist comes out and punches his balls. This really gets on his
nerves so he leaves. The talaban leader is laughing his ass off.
Two months latter Bush calls for a peace agreement woth
Afganistans leader. AS they are in the oval office Bush presses
a button and the Taliban leader ducks but nothing happend Bush
is laughing his head off. when the began talking again push
presses the button again and the T leader covers his balls
nothing happend bush is laughing so hard he is read. The T
leader says I’m going back to Afganistan Bush replies what
afganistan

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill was a quite a character. Here, for your
enjoyment, is a bit of a description of him:

(1) Seeing how rude Churchill was to his wife (and everyone
else), a lady once told him, “Winston, if I was your wife, I
would poison your tea.” Churchill replied, “And madame, if I was
your husband, I would drink it.” Ouch.

(2) At a dinner a party, a (different) lady thought Churchil had
had a bit too much to drink, and told him so: “Winston, you are
drunk.” Churchill’s answer: “And madame, you are ugly. The
difference is, in the morning, I will be sober.” Ouch Ouch.

(3 and final) The famous playwright George Bernard Shaw, once
wrote a letter to Churchill along these lines: “…I would be
delighted if you could attend the first performance of my new
play…You may bring a friend, if you have one.” Churchill was
not going to take that sitting down; his reply: “I apologize
that I cannot attend the first performance of your play, but I
will be happy to attend the second performance, if you have one.”

Bin Laden, NY gov., Bush and a Genie

One day Bush, Bin Laden, and the governor of NY were walking on
the beach when they stumpled upon a genie’s lamp.

They rubbed the lamp and out popped a genie. The genie said, “I
have three wishes and since there are three of you I will give
each of you
a wish.”

The governor of NY said, “I will go first. I want the
twin towers built back just like they were Sept. 10, but I want
them built to modern day standards.” The genie snapped his
fingers and it was done.

Bin Laden yelled out, “I want to go next. I want a wall built
around Afganistan. I want this wall taller than anybody can
fly, deeper than anybody can ever dig, and thicker than anybody
can penitrate.” The genie snapped his fingers and it was done.

Finally Bush says, ” I want to know more about this wall. How
tall is it?” The genie replys, “It is 10 million miles tall.”
Bush then asks, “How thick is it?”To this the genie replys, “It
is a hundred miles thick.” Then Bush says,”I know my wish
FILL THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH FULL OF WATER!!!!”