Jack and Jill went up the hill
to smoke some maryguana
Jack got high
and touched Jill’s thigh
but Jill said “I don’t Wanna”
so she threw him in the grass
and kicked his little ass!
A little game to play while you’re bored at work and reading jokes… Say each of the items out loud and try to figure out what it’s supposed to be.1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (~a person~)2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (~a fictional character~)3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (~a person~)4. MOW BEAD HICK (~a book~)5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (~a person~)6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (~a product~)7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (~a thing~)8. AISLE OH VIEW (~a phrase~)9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (~a old TV show~)10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (~a person~)11. DOCKED HEARSE WHOSE (~a person~)12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (~a place~)13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN (~a fictional character~)14. THESE HOUND DOVE MOO SICK (~a movie~)15. BUCK SPUN HE (~a fictional character~)————————–Answers:1. Jacques Cousteau2. Santa Claus3. Michael Jordan4. Moby Dick5. Thomas Jefferson6. Chiquita Banana7. The Titanic8. I love you9. The Brady Bunch10. Christopher Columbus11. Doctor Seuss12. The Milky Way Galaxy13. Agent 00714. The Sound of Music15. Bugs Bunny
Why did god make farts stink?
So deaf people could enjoy them.
What do you call a gay dentist?
– A tooth fairy.
Who was bigger… Mrs. Bigger or her baby?
Her baby was a little Bigger!
A guy decides it’s time to get marry. He gives each of his current
girlfriends $1,000. One spends $200 on clothes, puts $800 in the bank.
Second spends $800 on clothes, puts $200 in the bank. Third puts the whole
$1,000 in the bank.
Q: Which one did he marry?
A: The one with the big boobs.
What is old and wrinkled and hangs out your shorts?
– Your mother.
What’s the easiest thing to get into but hard to get out of??
What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re dead.
What kind of car does a midget drive?