Newfoundland, My Newfoundland(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection’s cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood basalts the land did drown, And clastics coarse fell all around, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! Iapetus began to spread, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Detritus from thy coast was shed, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy slope was draped, so proud and great, with massive banks of carbonate, Grand bank to meet so sad a fate, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! For flysch encroaching from the east, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Devoured thy margin like a beast, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, The ocean floor was raised on high, its mafic head reared to the sky; Its chromous threat was drawing nigh, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! Your once-proud bank was bowing down, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Subduction did thy margin drown, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, The angry mantle did desire to smother thee with ash and fire, And close Iapetus entire, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! The island arc with fiery breath, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Did shower all the land with death, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Until subduction’s starving throat, on Grenville crust was made to choke, The tyrant’s rule collision broke, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! The land subsided in its pain, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Olistostromes in chaos reigned, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Then in Caradoc time there came a shale everywhere the same That blanketed thy wounds and shame, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! Behold! Upon thy ancient shore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, A landmass was annealed once more, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Alas! Thy trials go on and on, for rifting struck the Avalon – The cycle must repeat anon, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
The last words of a chemist:1. And now the tasting test.2. May that become hot?3. And now a little bit from this…
Several short geology plays on wordsOkay, if you are a real geologist, you probably enjoy transferring geology vocabulary into everyday situations. For example, if you agree with what someone has said, you may say, You breccia! or My sediments exactly! And if you are not pleased with the person’s statement, you may resort to the old: That’s not gneiss!
The last words of a chemist:19. And now keep ith constat at 24 degrees celsius, 25… 26… 27…20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!
Deck the LabsDeck the labs with rubber tubingFa la la la la, la la la la.Use your funnel and your filterFa la la la la, la la la la.Don we now our goggles and apronsFa la la la la, la la la la.Before we go to our lab stationsFa la la la la, la la la la.Fill the beakers with solutionsFa la la la la, la la la la.Mix solutions for reactionsFa la la la la, la la la la.Watch we now for observationsFa la la la la, la la la la.So we can collect our dataFa la la la la, la la la la.
Top ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?”8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as “KKK.”
ON A CHEMISTRY TEST at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill. In detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with my grasp of molecular structure until the exams were handed back. Our teacher asked another student to read her answer. She suggested a broom and a dustpan to sweep up the spill — and got full credit.– Contributed to “Tales Out of School” by Joe Astorino 1996 The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc. All rights reserved.
Top ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
what do you call a science joke?
We Three Students Of Chemistry AreWe three students of chemistry aretaking tests that we think are hardStoichiometry, volumes and densitiesworrying all the time.O room of wonderroom of frightRoom of thermitesblinding light:With your energiesplease don’t burn usHelp us get our labs all right.