These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.Sign in a Rome laundry: “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier: “Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.” Sign on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: “Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.” Detour sign in Kobe, Japan: “Stop: Drive Sideways.”
Apparently, somewhere in England in an open field otherwise
untouched by human presence, there is a sign that says,
“Do not throw stones at this sign.”
At my University’s Student center Bathrooms: “If you see four feet instead of two under the bathroom door, please notify it immediately to the University Police.” In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey “Our School: Commitment, Responsibility, Attitude, Persistance.” Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: “Rest Area Next Right” – the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery. A sign in the local opportunity shop says, “If your going to steal, then smile for the camera.”
In Dinosaur, Colorado:
“Dinosaur Baptist Church”
Give me that old time religion!
On a home’s kitchen wall:
My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines.
Notice in a dry cleaner’s window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF. Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
At a number of military bases:
“Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”
Outside a Church:
Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!
“Three year old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.”
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the