Father Cuthbert

Father Cuthbert was the vicar at St Martha’s church, so the
congregation was sad to hear that he would be going on holiday
for a month. On the other, they were happy that he left his
right-hand-man, Father Ted in charge. Father Cuthbert gave him
his instructions, then set off on holiday. Father Ted did his
sermon the next morning, and it was a great success.At the end
he said “If anyone has committed any sins, come to me, and I
will forgive you.” A woman stepped up and said “I’ve stolen some
money from a shop”
“For that, you must say three Hail Mary’s.”
A man then went up and said to him “I’ve committed murder.”
“For that, you must say three hundred Hail Mary’s.”
Feeling rather pleased with himself, he is just about to leave,
before a woman stops him at the door, and cries “Help me, vicar!
I’ve performed oral sex!”
Father Ted looks down his list for oral sex
forgiveness, but it’s not there, so he rushes into the room in
which the choirboys are and says “Quick, boys, Quick! What does
Father Cuthbert give for a blow job?”
The cleaner enters the room and says “Ten quid if I
take my false teeth out.”