A long haul trucker had been on the road for months when he happened by a brothel in Nevada. He walked in and slammed $500 down on the desk and told the madam to bring him her ugliest woman and a baloney sandwich.
She said, “Oh, sir! For that kind of money, I’ll give you the best looking dame in the place and a 7 course dinner!”
He said, “I ain’t horny – just homesick.”