Presidential Flavors

Ben & Jerry’s New Presidential Flavors

Slick Willie

Double Nut Joy

Subpoenas ‘n’ Cream

Impeach-Mint

Candy Pants

Chocolate Chip Doughboy

Chilly Hillbilly

Draft-Dodging Pot-Smoking Intern-Nailing Raspberry Swirl Vanilla

Pantsachio Subpoena Colada

Biscuits ‘n’ Gravy

Horny Bubba Crunch

Arkansas Peach

Subpoena Butter Cup

Peppermint Fattie

Captain Cream

Tubby Bubba

Hillary Chiller

Fundraising Coffee

Oval Office Surprise

Arkansas Smoothie

Hyperactive Nuts

Scandalberry

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

Can I Buy You a Drin

A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, “May I buy you a drink?””Okay,” she said, “but it won’t do you any good.”A little later, he asks, “May I buy you another drink?””Okay,” she said again, “but it won’t do you any good.”He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, “Okay, but you know it won’t do you any good.”They get to his apartment and he says, “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife.””Oh, well that’s different….” she says.”Send her in!”

A man died

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he
passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a
lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

“That’s unfair !” he cried. “I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer
gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.”

“Shut up!” barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. “Who are you to
question that woman’s punishment?”

Bass joke

Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

Rectum Wins

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.

The brain said “I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The hands said “Without me we wouldn’t be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The stomach said “I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we’d starve. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The legs said “Without me we wouldn’t be able to move anywhere. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

Then the rectum said “I think I should be in charge.”

All the rest of the parts said “YOU?!? You don’t do anything! You’re not important! You can’t be in charge.”

So the rectum closed up.

After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy. They all agreed that they couldn’t take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge.

The moral of the story?

You don’t have to be the most important to be in charge, just be an asshole!