Redneck quickies 26

You might be a rednack if…You’ve ever worn hunter’s orange to church. You have barnyard animals living in your house.Every pair of jeans you own has a tobacco can ring worn in one of the rear pockets.Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, “Gun control is a steady hand.” Your wife has ever torn her hose on the boogers stuck under the front of the pickup seat.You have ever had a special loaded gun by the back door only for use on possums.You have ever shot a possum on your porch. You don’t use a garbage service because it must be placed up near the mail box and you can’t see far enough thru the trees to shoot the neighbors’ dogs when they get into it.You only go to the dump when you have enough to fill up the pickup. You have more than 500 rounds of ammunition in your house….not including 22 caliber.You have guns in your house that you cannot find. You think a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart while the automotive department is raising your truck another 8 inches. You think Wal-Mart is expensive.You’ve got more guns “On Display” than Wal-Mart Sporting Goods. You have ever written a check for less than a dollar. Your horse wears shoes, but you don’t. It doesn’t bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted. You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel. You ask your 10-year old son how to spell a word. Your dog is your alarm clock.