Signs-You’re Older Than You Thought

– You can live without sex but not without glasses.

– Your back goes out more than you do.

– You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
into the room.

– You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

– You are proud of your lawn mower.

– Your best friend is dating someone half their age … and
isn’t breaking any laws.

– You sing along with the elevator music.

– You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

– You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

– You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

– You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

– You make an appointment to see the dentist.

– You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

– Neighbors borrow your tools.

– People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

– You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”

– You send money to PBS.

– The end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere near the top of your
pants.

– You wear black socks with sandals.

– You know what the word “equity” means.

– You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to
watch television.

– You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s
lawn.

– You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

– You got cable for the weather channel.

– You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.