The Pledge of the Committed Hero Wiener

1. I, as a dedicated wiener, pledge to be the wussiest I can, but always
win.

2. Through the course of my journey, I will never act cool.

3. I pledge to effect the lives of everyone I meet, but only in a minute
way.

4. No one will stop me from completing my mission.

5. If I become romantically involved with a woman, I will quickly forget
about it. It’s way to nonsensical for some beautiful buxom women to fall
for me.

6. I will never have sex! Ever!