Things Will Rogers Never Said

(but probably wishes he had)

  • Every teen-ager should get a high school education — even if they already know everything
  • Somethings that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair
  • A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can’t spell
  • The outcome of the income depends on the outgo for the upkeep
  • Here’s a new invention — a solar-powered clothes dryer. It’s called a clothes line
  • Leaders go down in history — some farther down than others
  • Any man who laughs at women’s clothes has never paid the bill for them
  • Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired
  • For every judge operating in an official capacity, there are 100 who are self-appointed
  • It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered
  • The more you know, the more you know you ought to know
  • The argument you just won with your spouse isn’t over yet
  • The law of gravitation is the only law that everybody observes