Tuns of Puns! Part V

What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won’t eat broccoli.

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.

What’s the difference between the capital of Russia and a calf’s mother?
One is Moscow, the other is cow’s ma.

Where did the vegetables go to get drunk?
The Salad Bar.

Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

Where does a one-armed man shop?
At a second hand store.

Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!!

Which of these things don’t belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck?
The tuna. The other two are crustaceans.

Who delivers puppies when the Vet isn’t available?
The mid woof.

Why can’t a woman ask her brother for help?
Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.

Why did the big moron fall off the roof and the little moron didn’t?
Because he was a little more on.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the opossum it could be done.