Twas the night before X-mas

Twas the Night before X-mas

T’was the night before christmas- Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and through down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works
I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of thanks Santa what do I hear
The Old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money the reindeers all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes-if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money
And the kids these days- they all are the pits
They want the impossible… Those mean litttle shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls….Their arms, legs, and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s No request for them
They want computers and robots…..they think I’m IBM

If you thinks that bad…just picture this
Try holding their pants full of piss
They pull on my nose they grab at my beard
And if I don’t smile the parents think I’m wierd

Flying through the air…dodging the trees
Falling down chimmneys and skinning their knees
I’m quitting this job…there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment
There’s no christmas this year…. now you know the reason
I found me a blonde …I’m going south for the season